Cruise
by NoxFox
Summary: 'It wasn't like the first thing Voldemort would do if he was ever reincarnated was to begin donning floral shirts and going on Norweigan cruises.' A year after Voldemort is vanquished by the Boy Who Lived, Snape reluctantly agrees to go on a 5 day cruise, to secure his role as Potions Master. Perhaps it is not the destination but the journey that matters. Spinoff from LTTLB.
1. Monday 1st August: PM

It was an old fashioned steamship, small in its proportions more like a steamboat than a searing ocean liner, adorned in garish yet attractive shades. Hues of red and yellow crisscrossed every possible surface. All it needed to fully emulate a 19th Century liner were strings of jazzy bunting in addition to lavishly dressed clientele in top hats or corsets. As it was, the clientele were dressed in cloaks, carrying an assortment of owls and trunks.

Snape was one of those wizards, though unlike the others he wasn't buzzing with excitement at the thought of five days at sea with Dumbledore. He set his trunk down, as far away from the crowd as he could manage without gaining further baffled looks from the muggle ship workers who he'd passed on his way to the S.S. Emrys.

'Welcome, sir! I am Pam; in charge of the activities for your next five days of fun! Fun! Fun! Whilst we're cruising round the great fjords of Norway, I will be making sure that your trip has days _and_ nights to remember! Activities for the witch or wizard in need of some enjoyable leisure time include, wizard's chess, swimming in one of our three heated pools while the ocean waves roll around you, karaoke, golf, coached by the very able Geoffrey Lewis, who gained an Outstanding in his Muggle Studies NEWT and much, much more!

'Here's the itinerary for your trip, including all activities, dates and times. I will be directing you to your room when boarding starts in thirty minutes time. Oh and remember, we're here to make memories!' she said, finishing her speech, then proceeding to prance off to a nearby wizarding couple, who greeted her with enthusiasm.

Snape felt visually and audibly assaulted. He'd barely been able to hear all of the information, so distracted as he was through the woman's cheery grin and luminous orange robes. When she thrust the leaflet into his hand, he'd almost dropped it in shock. The activities sounded too tacky for his liking. Somehow he had a dreadful feeling that he wasn't going to enjoy this trip…

'Ah Severus, good to see that you've made it,' Dumbledore smiled, walking over with his own trunk. Snape noted that Dumbledore, like himself, had not brought his owl. It seemed like he wasn't the only one who didn't want contact with the outside world on this trip.

'Not that I had much choice, Albus.' Snape pronounced.

'Oh, we always have a choice, Severus. I'm so glad that you've decided to join me, even if it took… but I see I shall not mention it today lest those tears welling up in your eyes begin to fall. At any rate, I think you need this trip as much as I do. We'll get to know one another and maybe ourselves along the way.' Dumbledore enunciated.

Snape gave a non-committal shrug in response, trying to disguise wiping his eyes. He had begrudgingly agreed to go on the cruise with Dumbledore, as it was one of the conditions of becoming Potions Master at Hogwarts. Dumbledore hadn't explicitly mentioned why he wanted them both go on a five day over 20s cruise but Snape knew that though Dumbledore looked fluffy on the outside, he had a strong resolve.

Looking around at the 60 or so passengers gathered at the port, he was by far the youngest person there, having just turned twenty-one earlier that year. Most witches and wizards seemed to look more Dumbledore's age, with extremely ornate trunks and ancient looking owls. One curious looking wizard, had decided to come dressed in a muggle outfit with navy shorts, a floral shirt, accompanied with white socks and leather sandals. Snape might have agreed with the choice of outfit had it been a Caribbean cruise but he didn't imagine that the man's attire was particularly suited for Norway. There was also something strikingly familiar about him…Snape shook his head, he wouldn't dare associate with people who wore such loud shirts.

'Ah I see you have the itinerary and activities details with you! Great start! Oh I do love a good round of golf.' Dumbledore smiled.

They then both turned to the sound of the ships horn, simultaneously seeing Pam waving people to come over onto the ship, with great, swooping gestures and a grin, which Snape could have sworn had been cursed onto her face, such was its permanence. They began to stroll over to the ship with the other passengers, in that sort of I'm-aware-that-I'm-in-a-crowd-and-don't-want-to-push-but-I-will-show-that-I'm-making-my-way-over-as-soon-as-is-physically-possible look. The majority of the other passengers, Snape was depressed to note, were looking tremendously content and all had similar serene smiles on their faces, occasionally giving a courteous nod to other people who they would be travelling with for the next few days.

Soon enough all of the passengers save Dumbledore and Snape had been herded onto the ship, staff dutifully carrying passenger's luggage back and forth as they took them personally to each room. Meanwhile Pam was collecting and labelling wands.

'Hello again, sir!' She beamed, 'As you knew when you signed up, wands are prohibited to passengers for the week. You needn't lift a finger never mind raise a wand! We have everything taken care for you.'

Snape clutched his wand tightly, as Pam expectantly held her hand out.

'No, Albus forgot to mention that actually…'

'Severus,' Dumbledore growled.

After several tense seconds of hesitation, Snape knew that it was no use to argue with the policy. If he did, he knew he couldn't go on the cruise. Then he'd be out of a job and not many companies were eager to hire ex-Death Eaters.

'No problem, Pam,' Snape said, almost carving his details into the wand retention form. Subsequently, Dumbledore swiftly handed his wand over, joining Snape, so that they could be escorted to their rooms.

Snape, feeling incredibly bitter about handing over such a valuable item, muttered, 'I bet it's only so that in such cramped accommodation, someone doesn't get their head blown off by the end of the week.'

He could have sworn he heard Dumbledore chuckle to himself as the porter picked up their luggage.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for reading the first chapter. I got the idea when I wrote Love Through the Letterbox and I mentioned that Snape got a letter-opener on a cruise with Dumbledore. I thought it would be amusing to write about those events. As ever I don't own anything you recognise. All rights go to JK Rowling.**


	2. Tuesday 2nd August: AM

Snape shifted uncomfortably on the top bunk- yes he had the top bunk.

He had rather naїvely assumed that he would, at the very least, be permitted a room of his own on this Merlin-forsaken trip. Conversely, Dumbledore had had a different plan. He had guessed that Snape might try his hardest to lock himself in his room, so had booked a cabin for two.

Dinner had been bad enough, with the strange muggle attired man staring at him through all three (unnecessary) courses. But when Snape and Dumbledore were both escorted to the same cabin, he'd almost had a heart attack. He didn't wish to argue so had sat sullenly through dinner and had spent as much time as he could in the en-suite when he was getting ready for bed. Now, once again, he couldn't sleep.

'Are you okay there Severus?' Dumbledore whispered, his voice mimicking the swaying motion of the waves surrounding them.

'I'm sharing a miniscule cabin, with a batty, old man, on the top bunk, on a steamship, which is one maraca short of a carnival. I'm having a marvellous time thank you!'

'I was merely enquiring as to your wellbeing, Severus.' Dumbledore replied.

Snape temporarily went quiet, as he decided how to reply to Albus' insistent probing, which had begun with concerned glances and furrowed brow at dinner. After all, Snape wasn't the one paying for the trip and it was rather lonely at Spinner's End during the holidays. Although it really frustrated him, that having worked for Dumbledore for just over a year; no matter how angry, waspish or snappy Snape was to him, he never heard him raise his voice, which was so, so bloody annoying! It made him want to unforgivably curse every student in sight, after their more intense meetings, or maybe that's just how he felt on a regular teaching day. He wasn't too sure…

'My mind was racing is all, Albus. I usually brew myself a sleeping draught on a night, as it is a regular impedance, though it slipped my mind when packing.'

'I see,' breathed Dumbledore, 'What, if I may be so audacious as to enquire, is the problem prohibiting you from your slumber?'

'You know.' Snape replied sharply, 'I haven't been able to sleep of my own accord since it happened.'

'I am sorry to hear that.'

The two men breathed silently for a few moments, deep in thought; Snape able to hear the sadness in Dumbledore's voice as he apologised. It should be Severus who was apologising for _her_ death, not Dumbledore. It had been his fault. He was so absorbed with appeasing the Dark Lord… he never ever dreamt… that one day… Lily…

He tried to stop himself from sobbing but once he started he couldn't stop. He had been suppressing his feelings for so long that he felt he had become a hollow vessel, destined to spend the rest of his life trapped between Dumbledore and the fear that Voldemort may one day return. Alas, he was so dreadfully human.

'It wasn't your fault,' said Dumbledore, 'It could just have easily been the Longbottom's.'

'But I did it,' Snape bellowed, body heaving afresh with each sob.

Dumbledore made a shushing noise, stood up and looked at Severus in the half-gloom.

'No, Voldemort did and Lily proved her worth in dying for her son. The very thing, which everyone who loved her, valued in her the most. Love and compassion.'

Snape's great heaving sobs had now turned into alternate gasps for air and damp sniffles.

'I…I…loved her…so…so…much. I can't walk into the library at Hogwarts, without thinking about the fact that that was the last place I spoke to her as a friend before she never spoke to me again. It's a strange feeling. Sadness mixed with confusion. Sometimes I walk there on a nightime just to puzzle it out. How can such an ordinary place, hold such distant memories, completely detached from today?'

Snape found that he fell asleep quickly that night. Maybe he wasn't so hollow after all. He also had to admit the next day that maybe there were some bonuses to having a confidante, even if Snape usually made it his duty to trust no one. He would make sure he was more guarded that evening though, he hated the embarrassment of opening himself up to someone in such an intimate way.

Such was his quickened slumber that he neither heard Dumbledore's delayed response to his question nor saw the single teardrop fall to his pillow, as he whispered:

'I know the feeling.'

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading. Rights go to JK Rowling**


	3. Tuesday 2nd August: PM

Snape was onto his third cocktail. They were complementary and who was he to refuse free alcohol? Dumbledore had left their cabin just after they had returned from lunch to practise some putting. Snape assumed it was to give them both a bit of space but then he had realised all of the possibilities of a few hours of freedom. He had left his room and discovered the bar.

The strangely dressed man was there too. Today he had opted for some trousers and a plain T-shirt, Snape was relieved to note. They had been giving each other alternating glances for the duration of the past two cocktails. The man finally walked over.

'Severus?' He said.

Snape was horrified. How did he know his name?! He decided to feign coolness. None of the passengers were allowed wands. It wasn't like the first thing Voldemort would do if he was ever reincarnated was to begin donning floral shirts and going on Norweigan cruises.

'Yes, sorry do I know you?' Snape replied.

'Oh no, I'm James. I overheard your name at dinner last night. I wasn't too sure.' James shrugged, 'It's nice to meet you.'

Snape nodded, he had fallen out of practice to extending courtesies to strangers, 'Why are you on the cruise?'

'On holiday of course is that not what we're all here for? I lost my job sometime last year and my wife left me, so I thought I deserved a break. I may be 40 but I'm trying my best to avoid a mid-life crisis.' He laughed.

Snape forced a chuckle too. It was bad enough that he had to come on a trip with Dumbledore but he now had to interact with people. He always found this extremely draining, especially when he was at the getting to know you stage. It was so much effort. But he adopted his friendly façade which he had learnt during his stint as a Death Eater when he was chosen to find out information and battled through it.

Somewhere around the fifth cocktail, he actually began to enjoy talking to James (avoiding any uncomfortable topics of course). They chatted for a couple of hours before Snape made his excuses, as Dumbledore would probably be back from golf. The room was also starting to spin, so Snape was rather desperate to get back to counteract his intoxication.

He was certainly drunker than he thought; he noticed unsteadily rising from his stool. Most of his time getting back to his room seemed to drift from him banging his shoulders into walls as he turned corners and feeling like his feet were floating along the floor.

Eventually he reached Number 26 and fumbled with the key in the door. He was right. Dumbledore was already there, sat knitting in one of the armchairs. His curious eyes flicked up briefly to meet Snape's dark ones, at the same time that Snape's stomach heaved. He headed quickly for the en-suite, feeling disappointed with himself.

When he came out Dumbledore had put his knitting down.

'Are you feeling well Severus? Dumbledore said, leaving Snape's afternoon binge drink an unspoken topic between them for neither of them needed to discuss why when presented with the opportunity, Snape's alcohol consumption rose exponentially.

'Yes, Albus. Fine thank you. How was golf?' He responded with as much cheer as he could muster. He was desperate to change the topic. He felt like a naughty school boy caught throwing stones at the greenhouses.

'Oh it was splendid thank you. I met a lovely couple who are on the cruise together. George and Brenda, from your neck of the woods, as the phrase goes. Have you managed to chat with anyone yet?'

'Yes, I met a man called James. The one with the floral shirt yesterday-'

'-I feel like I've seen his face somewhere,'

'Yes, I know. Me too but he said we didn't know each other.'

Dumbledore merely nodded and looked like he was deep in thought, before picking up his knitting again. Snape sank down into the other, surprisingly comfortable, armchair and picked up one of the books he had brought with him. He liked to have a book close at hand, even if he wasn't reading it. They provided comfort. So many different tales to be told. Different places. Different lives. They made him forget about his past. Also, he needed an activity that meant he could sit down. Martinis were powerful things.

There was an abrupt knock on the door. Snape was highly confident that 'cabin-service' had already brought the extra pillows that he and Dumbledore had requested that morning. Pulling himself out of the armchair and still feeling rather unsteady on his feet, he got up and answered the knock.

And he had thought his holiday couldn't get any worse…

He had sacrificed his wand, gone on holiday with a man who until a year ago had been his enemy. Not just any holiday but an all singing all dancing cruise. (Coincidentally, tonight was karaoke night, an icebreaking activity.) He had gotten more than a little bit tipsy on his first afternoon there but no, it was nothing compared to this.

'Remus! Wonderful to see you! I didn't spot you yesterday evening.' Dumbledore spoke, to account for Snape's deathly silence.

'Ah yes, well I had to request a portkey, as I got waylaid last night by some of the more bloodthirsty werewolves who were hiding out near to me. So I've just arrived. I'm in the room next door.' Remus articulated, clutching onto his apparently injured arm.

'Really,' Snape drawled, 'and who do you have the pleasure of sharing with? McGonagall? Winnie-the-Pooh? Mr Tumnus?'

'Now, now Severus. He has a single cabin. I thought I'd invite him along, so that he could have a break from being in hiding and he could keep you company.' Snape didn't like the way Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in his direction when he said that. He couldn't possibly know. Could he?

Snape nodded stoically and gestured robotically for Remus to sit down in the unoccupied armchair, which Remus, sensing the tension within Snape, did instantaneously. Snape meanwhile sat himself down on the lower bunk. He tried to slow down his rapid heart rate. He both loved and loathed seeing Remus. He had missed the sight of him so much for the last four or so years but he was one of _them_. Why did he find him so goddamn attractive? He'd managed to convince himself since he'd left Hogwarts that he only ever been in love with Lily. That wasn't quite true.

Even now, with ash, grey circles sunk deep beneath his eyes, a line of dark stubble around his chin and his hair sticking out in physically impossible directions, he thought Remus Lupin the most handsome man in the world. Even the way he moaned slightly as he accidently hit his arm of the desk when he was sitting down was like a foghorn to Severus. He was painfully aware of his entire presence.

'So a rather enthusiastic lady-' Remus began.

'Pam,' Snape cut in.

'Yes, that's the one. She said that it was karaoke tonight. Now I'm not much of a singer but it seems like a laugh. Especially if we just watch other people.'

'Indeed,' Dumbledore smiled warmly, 'We'll have a couple of drinks,' his eyes briefly met Snapes, 'Sit down, chat, listen. I might join in if Gloria Gaynor comes on…'

At this even Snape and Lupin looked at each other in a panicked manner.

'It was a joke of course. But nice to know that both of you gents can bond over something...It starts in an hours' time. So if we all get showers and put on our evening robes now, we can meet outside our rooms in fifty minutes or so.'

Severus and Remus assented and they all got up to prepare themselves. It did feel nice only having to worry about getting dressed instead of the other hundred or so things that Snape had to worry about on an average day.

A little while later, showered, dressed and smelling far too strongly of cologne, Snape and Dumbledore stepped outside. A much cleaner looking Remus was waiting for them, though even his evening robes were in tatters. This was a fact which he seemed to be all too aware of.

'Hold on.' Snape said, 'We look about the same size. You can borrow one of my robes if you wish. Albus' might be a little too twenties for your style.'

Snape didn't know who was more shocked, himself, Remus or Dumbledore. Dumbledore recovered with much tact, smiled warmly and sent Remus into their room, Snape following. He had no idea where his last sentence had come from. He let Remus pick from his best robes, all black save one green, which he rarely ever wore, as he thought it was a bit too colourful. Funnily enough, it was also the one that Remus selected, with a quietly whispered, but equally as grateful, thanks.

Snape left the room to avoid any more unwelcome thoughts from the sight of a half-naked Remus, though he already had his robe halfway over his head as Snape reached the door. Clearly, living without luxury made you far less used to privacy. Snape had heard that the most expensive places Remus managed to stay in on occasion were youth hostels, which really wasn't saying much.

As he stepped back outside, Dumbledore beamed at him.

* * *

**AN: Rights go to JKR**


	4. Wednesday 3rd August: AM

Snape woke up temporarily confused as to where he was. He liked that part of the morning, when he had no idea who he was or what things usually tormented him throughout the day. Then he remembered his absurd agreement. He was getting to the point where he wondered how he had agreed to it and whether his job, teaching troublesome children, was really worth it.

Oh no, karaoke hadn't been a complete disaster. Complete being the operative word. Dumbledore had kept to his promise and hadn't sang 'I Will Survive' but he had got up and danced to every single cat-strangling singer, regardless of how dreadful they were. On the other hand, Snape had to admit that Albus could really bust a move.

Then he'd had to endure his two 'companions' chucking and jesting each other all evening, as the Firewhiskey flowed freely into their glasses. He himself had stuck to soda and lime, to avoid any repeats of the afternoon. Somehow, he couldn't imagine that staying sober had contributed towards his lack of enjoyment of the night. The singing had been so bad that no quantity of alcohol could have softened his memories of the night.

There had even been a moment of poor judgement where he convinced himself that he and Remus could sing 'Ballroom Blitz' together. That moment had quickly passed and he had saved his dignity. Though Remus had gotten up and sang a solo performance of 'Werewolves of London', eyes twinkling with laughter the whole time. It made him look far less sad and decrepit, just like any other twenty-something should. It also made Snape fall in love him that little bit more and temporarily made him forget about his gut-wrenching loss of Lily, the woman who had never been his.

Bedtime didn't occur until sometime after midnight. Remus and Dumbledore had flushed cheeks and merry smiles on their faces, as they headed into their rooms. However, Dumbledore was an early riser and had just woken Snape up with the sound of the shower running at 7am. He lay in bed for a few extra moments as Albus got ready in the bathroom, revelling in the snugness of his bed. He could already taste the bacon and eggs he would be having for breakfast as he climbed down the ladder, arches of his feet hurting whilst he went down each rung. There was a reason that bunk beds were mainly designed for children.

Enjoying the warmth of the trickling shower, he even forgot to be mad at Dumbledore for taking him on the cruise. It wasn't too bad after all…He hadn't really managed to socialise much being a Death Eater; unless torturing people for information and killing them afterwards was counted as a fun group activity.

He was grounded back down to Earth as he heard Dumbledore call through the door to announce that Remus was ready for breakfast. All of his grumblings returned to him and he turned the shower of with a sigh.

Breakfast restored him to a marginally better mood. The S.S. Emrys was stopping off at a small wizarding town called Alskye for the day and Snape was feeling excited to stretch his legs properly. He had gone for a quick leg stretch on the top deck the night before where he had been able to make out the vast dark masses of the fjords that surrounded them but it would be exciting to see the landscape in daylight. He had heard that Norway was beautiful, though he had been assured by Albus that none of the pictures in the tour guides truly did it justice.

As they climbed up the stairwell to the top deck, Snape glimpsed various hues of green and blue. The air was fresh and tangy, the wind whistling through his hair. They still had a half hour or so before they were due to dock into Alskye and he was planning to enjoy every moment of the approach. He distanced himself slightly from Albus and Remus, indicating that he wasn't prepared for a hearty chat. They gave him looks of acknowledgement and walked to the other side of the deck.

In truth, talk at breakfast had been overwhelming for him. The ship seemed especially busy, compared to his previous few weeks of living alone, where he could control the level of background noise. Being with so many people had been a shock to his system, leaving him feeling shaky at times. He thought he was used to it after a nearly two days, but hearing the chatter of guests at breakfast, the clatter of the waiters collecting plates and listening to Dumbledore and Lupin talk in such an excited manner had been the final sound wave into his already overflowing coffin of noise and he found himself spreading the butter over his toast in a quietly aggressive manner to combat his frustration.

Now he felt free. However, the S.S. Emrys docked all too soon and he jumbled out of the ship with the other excitedly nattering passengers, to find Remus and Albus waiting a little distance away for him. They'd all decided to browse the windows of the shops and then get a Butterbeer in the main square, so that they could sit outside and enjoy the fresh breeze of the wind on their faces, as well as a few sparse sunbeams which were shining through the clouds and giving warmth to the town of Alskye.

Wandering around a wizarding town was excellent as they didn't have to pretend to be muggles, or observe wizards who were less competent at blending in with them. Though, ah yes, James was rocking a pair of luminous Bermuda shorts once more. Conversely, Remus looked striking in one of Snape's black everyday robes. Snape had insisted. He couldn't bear to see Remus in the rags that he owned.

As they walked around the town, they noticed that most of the shops were small and quaint with inviting window displays. The apothecary caught Snape's eye with its gaudy external display involving too much red velvet. He called in to get the ingredients to make his sleeping draught, telling Albus and Remus that he'd meet them in the square for a drink once he was done.

The bell tinkled gently as he walked into the musty room. Racks of glass vials lined the walls. It wasn't dissimilar to his dungeon. Ironically, the shopkeeper had a similar temperament to himself; however he served him the ingredients without any complaint and in perfect English. Luckily Snape didn't have to fork out the money for a cauldron as he had a small portable one in his trunk. Just in case. Though he did have to buy a few empty glass vials and stoppers, which the shopkeeper decided would warrant a stupendous amount of money.

Snape left with a much lighter wallet, especially after deciding to buy one more item on his way out. He headed straight to the square and enjoyed looking out onto the mountains with Dumbledore and Lupin. A calm contentment settled over Snape, whilst he sat pondering life in that old cobbled square and it felt like much too soon when the sun had moved towards the West and they all had to head back to the ship.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for sticking with this. I hope you're enjoying it! All rights go to JKR**


	5. Wednesday 3rd August: PM

'Welcome to the Penultimate night on the S.S. Emrys!' Pam's voice boomed through the room, 'We hope you had a great day in Alskye and that you've all got your markers and cards ready! We'll be playing five games of bingo. There's a different mystery prize for each full house! Good luck!'

Pam took her seat next to a bingo machine. Snape sighed loudly, though every other person in the room looked dreadfully excited at the thought of a mystery prize. James had joined their table this evening, near to the bar as Snape decided that he might be able to trust himself.

'Well good luck everyone,' James whispered.

'You too,' smiled Dumbledore.

The next couple of hours were, Snape loathed to admit, fun. The jolly chatter from Pam and the general happy atmosphere was a pleasant change to his usual circumstances and he could see why this was a very popular activity for the elderly. He was even starting to see Remus and Albus as friends as opposed to acquaintances. Although his unwanted thoughts of Remus persisted. Surely it wasn't his fault if his eyes slipped to his crotch on more than one occasion…Surely…

The highlight of his night was when he became one of the winners, getting a full house in the third game and receiving a sterling silver sword-shaped letter opener. No one else on his table managed to win anything and he felt especially pleased with his prize, as it acted as a symbol for what he had achieved in two very short days. He had become a lot more 'people-friendly' and he had begun to finally grieve over Lily.

The late night chat with Dumbledore had unzipped a seam from which his memories could pour and he could sift through. Until that point, he had been taking the sleeping potion just so that he didn't have to face himself and his shadowed thoughts night after bloody night. Snape was his own nemesis. He had now learned not to fear his thoughts but to let them in. Let them wash over him and let him mourn if he needed to.

He feared himself no more.

Holding his letter opener in one hand and a glass of sherry in the other, he thought to himself that had he had died then and there, he would die a content man. He let out a small smile, which no one but Dumbledore caught. In return, Dumbledore smiled to himself.

James left shortly after the fifth game, muttering about it being his bedtime. It wasn't until he fell as he got out of his chair, explaining that he had a false leg that was sometimes a bit stiff, that Snape realised precisely who James was. James Thomas Rigel. A former Death Eater.

Snape cursed under his breath and followed James out of hall, making his excuses to Remus and Albus. He had to confront him. Why hadn't he mentioned it to Snape? Unless he thought he couldn't trust him. Snape hadn't recognised him because he had never had much contact with him, being significantly younger than he and having only seen him at a couple of meetings. One of which, James had explained that he had had his leg blasted off by a particularly aggressive auror.

James had almost reached his own room when Snape caught up with him. Upon hearing footsteps behind him he turned and smirked.

'I wondered just how long it would take you Severus.'

'Why didn't you mention it?' Snape spat.

'Oh because you're clearly a muggle-lover, with that old foddy-doddy. You've probably set up some sort of Mudblood program and you consort with werewolves who are trying their best to be upstanding members of the community. You're sat playing bingo on a cruise. You're pathetic. You'd think that just because the Dark Lord seems to be gone you can change all of your morals. Wait until he rises!' James laughed.

'What's your excuse for being on a cruise?' Snape cut in.

'I've been hunting down 'our', or perhaps it would now be more correct to say 'my' fellow Death Eaters. It's been too long since we caused some havoc. The Dark Lord would be disgusted if he could see what we are doing now. Hiding like a bunch of frightened toads! I found out through a contact that you'd be here and I thought that I could do with your help. Apparently not. Traitor. Wait until the others find out. I'll tell them as soon as we dock back into Portsmouth. Good luck.' James smiled one final time before turning back to his room. He entered, locking the door behind him.

Snape stood outside gobsmacked. He had realised that people may try and rally with Voldemort vanquished. On the other hand, he didn't think any would have the courage. There were scores of past Death Eaters, who had disguised their past and gone either into hiding or respectable jobs. He would just have to deal with this particularly manic one.

He would do it tomorrow night.

* * *

**AN: Rights go to JK Rowling**


	6. Thursday 4th August: AM

Unsurprisingly, Snape didn't manage to sleep very well that night. He pretended that he was already asleep when Dumbledore came in a little while after him. However, he tossed and turned and the more he did so, the more tangled up in his sheets he became and the more ruffled his pillow was, reducing any chances of getting a good night's sleep. He still could not believe that out there, somewhere, there was a group of followers gathering together, lead by bloody James Rigel!

Such was his discomfort that he rose sometime around five and headed into the bathroom to brew his sleeping draught. He picked up his small copper cauldron and the ingredients from his trunk, which stood neatly next to Dumbledore's at the bottom of the bunks and locked the door. He set everything down on the bathroom tiles, proceeding to separate ingredients. It wouldn't be too complicated to brew.

An hour or so later, when the potion was bubbling away nicely, the perfect shade of ultramarine, Dumbledore knocked on the door. It wasn't until Snape stood up that he realised just how steamed up the bathroom had become.

'Good Morning Severus, I hope you don't mind me interrupting. An old man's bladder you know.' Dumbledore's face was obscured entirely by the great plumes of blue smoke excluding the very tip of his beard.

Snape strode into the bedroom, allowing Dumbledore into the bathroom, feeling the cooler atmosphere wash over him. This was when he realised that he had nothing to ladle the draught into the vials. He also had no wand with which to do it. Turning to the desk in the room, he observed the items on it. A mirror, two tea cups, a teaspoon, some biscuits. A teacup would have to do. He took one into the bathroom as soon as Dumbledore came out.

Once he was finished, having spilled more of the sleeping draught onto the floor than into the vials, he cleaned up and got ready for breakfast. Most of his time in the shower was spent plotting how he would deal with James this evening. The only method he could think of that didn't involve Azkaban, was obliviating him, to the point where he remembered Snape and Dumbledore no longer.

After breakfast, where James was mysteriously absent, Albus, Remus and Severus all headed to the main hall to take part in a Wizard's Chess tournament. The air inside the hall was buzzing with excitement, this time Snape was included in it. He wasn't the best at Wizard's Chess but he could hold his own against a fair amount of opponents. Furthermore, it would provide a welcome distraction to his plans for the evening. They all headed to the front to be put onto a table. Names were drawn at random, to be put against each other in the first round. Then the winners would continue to round two and so on.

Snape knew that he was doomed in the first round as soon as he read that he would be challenging Dumbledore to a game. Dumbledore turned to him with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. They took a seat at one of the tables by the large window, which stretched from one side of the room to the other, showing a magnificent display of the Norwegian coast. The chess boards had already been set up and so the game began!

He lost terrifically of course but he and Dumbledore had to have had one of the most eccentric set of chess pieces in existence. They didn't seem so much interested in playing chess, as dancing and socialising. It took a great deal of patience and encouragement to even get the game to go forward. Dumbledore was far more gracious than Snape, who was far too snappy with his pieces, which they did not appreciate at all. Once Dumbledore had returned to the front to find out who is next opponent was, Snape took a place on a comfortable sofa by the window, deciding to relax and stare out at the beautiful scenery.

Dumbledore won the tournament overall, he came over to a dejected Remus (who made it to the semi-finals) and Severus, proudly holding the brand new chess set he had won. By this point it was time for lunch, so the wizards headed back towards the dining room, where there was a fresh array of sandwiches and juices laid out onto the table. Snape suddenly discovered a loss in his appetite as he got closer to the events of the evening. However, so that he didn't have to quiver under Dumbeldore's curious gaze, he forced down a couple of biscuits. Biscuits were the only thing that he felt he could eat.

After lunch Albus and Remus planned to go swimming. Snape tried to pass up on it but with one look from Dumbledore, he realised that a 'warm' invitation for him to go swimming meant that it was compulsory and he had no decision in the matter. They walked back to their rooms, where Dumbledore carefully stowed his new chess set.

'Best gift I've had since I got that lovely pair of cabled alpaca yarn socks last year.' Dumbledore beamed.

They both quickly grabbed their swimming gear and re-joined Remus outside, where they strolled to one of the smaller-quiter pools. In fact, that afternoon it was deathly silent. They were the only guests to be using it. Albus and Severus stepped into the two male cubicles available to get changed into his trunks, whilst Remus waited outside. When Snape stepped out, he caught sight of a blue and white striped, full-body swimming costume. He could have sworn that it was made at the beginning of the 20th century. Knowing Dumbledore, it probably was.

'Very nautical Albus,' He stated.

'Thank you Severus.'

Snape's trunks were, like everything else he owned, black. He'd never worn them before but felt it was something he ought to own. He climbed carefully into the pool lest he be caught off guard by the freezing cold water but Pam wasn't lying when she said that they were heated. It was the perfect temperature. Doggy paddling a couple of laps to warm up before he got the distraction of Remus sans clothes, he saw Dumbledore at the other side of the pool doing a steady, yet determined breaststroke.

The clunking of the door against the frame was heard as Remus stepped out of the changing room. Severus had promised himself that he wouldn't look before Remus stepped into the pool. He broke that promise and didn't regret it. However, he only had one swift glance and kept a good metre between himself and Remus at all times. Nonetheless they all had a great afternoon, just swimming and chatting, looking out of the windows at the scenery and telling stories about what they had been up to in the past year. They left feeling jolly and had time to get showered and changed before dinner.

Then after dinner (and ballroom dancing)…he would be ready…

Or, at least, pretend to be…

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**AN: JKR owns anything that you recognise**


	7. Thursday 4th August: PM

Snape yawned. He had waited until he was 99% positive that Dumbledore was in a deep sleep before he dared slide out of bed. It had been hard to stay awake for so long; apparently he wasn't the only one who had issues getting to sleep.

Picking up his key on the side, he decided it would be best to get his wand with only his socks on. He would make much less noise and the security wizards aboard were frightening. He prised open the door very carefully and closed it even more so. The doors weren't particularly thick and were prone to swinging shut with a distinctive clicking noise. He had passed the first hurdle. Now he had to actually find out where his wand was.

He crept along the corridor towards the reception area, where he knew there would be a security wizard. All he had to do was sneak past him. He would need a distraction. How could he do it? If he said there was a problem, the security guard would have to walk with him. He needed someone else. Not Dumbledore though. He shouldn't have to deal with it. Maybe…but no…Lupin.

Snape tiptoed lithely back towards Number 26, then knocked on the adjacent door as loudly as he dared. Lupin answered it surprisingly quickly and looked wide awake. This now confirmed the fact that the three of them could form some kind of insomnia guild. Either that or Snape should immediately start handing out his sleeping draught to them.

'Can I come in?' He whispered.

'Of course,' Lupin replied, 'Is everything ok? Do you want me to put the kettle on?'

Snape did agree to put the kettle on. Over the course of the next half hour he explained his predicament with James. Lupin listened carefully and his eyes lit up as Snape explained about stealing his wand back to obliviate him.

'Where do I come in?'

'I need you to distract the security guard. Tell him anything. Your toilet won't flush or something. You heard a funny noise. Then I'll sneak into reception grab my wand and obliviate James. His room isn't far from there. I'll return my wand, hopefully before the security guard gets back. Just drone on at him. You're usually good at that,' He smirked.

Within a few minutes Snape was hiding in an alcove near to reception, whilst Lupin walked on ahead and approached the security guard. The rest of the ship was deathly quiet. An occasional creak could be heard as it rocked back and forth and a gentle humming came from the generator underneath the ship. Snape had noticed that usually there was only one security man on duty on a night. He prayed that it were true tonight.

'There's a funny noise coming from my en-suite. I was wondering if you could please check it out. I wouldn't usually bother anyone until morning but I can't sleep,'

Snape heard the security man grumble but then eventually agree to go and take a look. He saw Remus give him a quick thumbs-up as they both strode past. Once they were a decent distance down the corridor, he rolled out of the alcove and moved stealthily toward reception. He quickly ducked behind it, then remained hunched over as he walked towards the door where all of the documents (and hopefully the wands) were kept. It was locked.

'Damn!' Snape growled. He turned to the desk and swept his hands over it. He was doomed if the security guard had the keys attached to his belt. There was no key on the desk. There were three drawers underneath the desk but on opening them there was only a selection of parchments, quills, sweets and nothing that looked too important.

It was just as he was about to leave that he saw a set of keys underneath the desk. The security guard must have dropped them! He deftly found the key that fit the lock to reception and slinked into the silent, still room. There were three desks with chairs and there was a pile of the activities used on a night time. Snape recognised the bingo and karaoke machines. Then he saw it. There was a rack of pigeon holes on the wall. Each pigeon hole contained a wand. He had no idea how he was going to find his before he realised they had been stowed and labelled in alphabetical order. Thank Merlin!

He had forgotten how much he had missed his wand until he finally got to hold it. He felt a warmth spread through his body and a spark, like electricity, rush up his arm. That wand made him who he was. It was as much a part of him as his own hand. He hadn't realised how powerful and safe it made him feel.

Deciding that perhaps it was not the best time to have an intense reunion with his wand, he rushed back out towards reception, listening carefully for the security guard's boots marching down the corridor. All was well, so he pulled the door shut and sprinted on tiptoe to James's room.

When he reached it, he tried the door. It was unlocked. He pushed it cautiously open, to the sound of James snoring. It would make obliviating him a far easier task. It also meant that he wouldn't be able to use the wand, which was poking out of his pillow. Snape had no idea how he'd managed to sneak it on, unless he had a spare, stolen during his Death Eater days.

Snape quickly cast obliviate and swept out of the room, shutting the door silently behind him. He was even more careful approaching the reception desk this time, as he was concerned as to how long Lupin could distract the security man for. He seemed to be doing a good job of it, as the desk remained empty.

Snape was just sliding the keys back under the desk, having returned his wand, when he heard faint steps coming back up the corridor. Proceeding to do the most impressive series on somersaults he would ever achieve in his lifetime, he made it back to the hitherto used alcove. The security man walked past, muttering to himself about guests with bat-like ears. Snape smiled. Rushing back to Lupin's room, the door was immediately opened for him.

'Did you make it?' Remus whispered.

'Yes all done and dusted. He was asleep but I'm assuming it worked.'

Lupin smiled in relief, 'I knocked the keys off his belt for you by the way. I'm glad you found them. I was concerned that you wouldn't.'

'Thank you and thank you for helping me.' Snape said gratefully. He tried not to notice how close Lupin was standing to him. If he just leaned forwards…

'I haven't had that much excitement in a long time.' Lupin smiled. 'It's nice to do things like that when you're not risking death. Oh Merlin, look at the time! It's five in the morning. We'll be at breakfast in a couple of hours. You know how Albus likes us to keep on schedule. Especially as tomorrow is the last day.'

Snape agreed and bid Lupin a goodnight, creeping back to his own room. He was just putting his hand on the door handle, when he decided to talk to Lupin properly. He didn't know if he was just deliriously tired but he thought that it might be best to admit his feelings, so that it would stop haunting him. He'd never told Lily how he had truly felt and now it was too late. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice.

He tapped gently on the door and opened it slightly, where an unexpected sight met his eyes. Lupin was locking lips with someone. He must have had them hiding under the bed or something when Snape had been in earlier. Luckily, he hadn't been seen, so he slunk out of the room noiselessly and trudged back to his own room, fresh tears gathering in his eyes and gently running down the sides of his nose and dripping onto the floor from his chin.

Snape quietly entered his room, where he was sure his dreams would not just be plagued by the usual beautiful Lily Evans but also interspersed with taunting visions of the damned werewolf too. He was too tired and emotional to notice, as he climbed onto his squashy bed, that Dumbledore was most definitely not asleep.

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**AN: Rights go to JKR. Please feel free to give a review if you wish**


	8. Friday 5th August: AM

'Just get the damned pumpkin juice for yourself Lupin. I'm not five. If I want some I'll get it myself.' Snape growled.

Dumbledore looked confused. He had assumed that Severus had returned after an early morning rendez-vous with Remus.

'That's more like the Severus Snape I know.' Remus stated, neither angrily nor sadly, standing up from his chair to go to the buffet.

Once he was out of earshot, Dumbledore stopped eating his toast and raised an eyebrow at Severus.

'I went to see Remus last night, to, er, chat with him and he was otherwise occupied.' Snape garbled, deciding to tell part of the true story. 'He has no idea that I saw him.'

'I see,' said Dumbldore, 'I'm sorry about that. I'd hoped…but, ah, what are an old man's thoughts but fantastical dreams. It is however the last day. If you don't want to mention it to him, please just be polite. We pull into Portsmouth at 20.00. You've done so well not to blow anyone's head off. I wouldn't want that to change…'

Severus managed a small chuckle, whilst adding copious amounts of sugar to his cereal. It was the last day after all, though he would make it a point not to so much look at Remus. If he looked at him he feared all he would see was the image plastered all over his mind from the night before. The image was miles away from the ones that he wanted to see. Maybe no one could ever love him. Standing up abruptly, he left the dining hall, passing James on the way out, who gave a courteous smile as he passed but showed no sign of recognition. Thank god he had actually achieved something.

Dumbledore left him to wallow alone, on the top bunk for what felt like a long time. In fact, he lay there for three hours. Eventually, he sat up, leaving his tear stained pillow behind. His eyes caught sight of a glinting and he spotted the letter-opener. How long ago Wednesday night seemed, when he thought all of his troubles had gone. Snape reassessed his situation. No one had gotten hurt, he'd managed his path to mourning Lily, he'd dissolved some weird post-Voldemort scheme and he'd admitted that he could fall in love with someone other than Lily. That was why Dumbledore had brought him on the trip. Why hadn't he realised earlier?

Severus leapt up. He went to his trunk. He got out the flask of Wolfsbane potion which had been the extra item that he had purchased for Lupin in the apothecary. After last night he had decided not to give it to Lupin but he now had a different point of view. He rushed through the ship searching out the two people who had helped him along all week. Dumbledore had got him to open up to his own emotions and he had even brought Lupin on as a friend and a potential soul mate, though, like some things in life, it hadn't quite worked out.

Finding them on the top deck chatting, he walked over to them smiling.

'I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way I acted this morning and that I want to thank you… for everything.' At this he gave Dumbledore a knowing look, who nodded at him in return, smiling back.

After this, he handed the flask of Wolfsbane potion over to Remus, explaining its use. The reaction from Remus could not have been anticipated. He smiled a great, big genuine smile, thanking Severus profusely, whilst giving him an awkward shoulder pat. There the three of them stood staring at the empty sea. It was the perfect moment. That was until James came over.

'Hello, it's been a nice week hasn't it,' He spoke, 'Names James by the way.'

He held his hand out to a baffled Dumbledore, who immediately shot a look at Remus who was midway through giving thumbs up to Severus. Dumbledore quickly recovered though introducing the three of them who all shook James's hand. The small talk was excruciating, as Snape knew as soon as James left that Dumbledore would have an interrogation session with himself and Remus.

He didn't just interrogate them though, he sent them both, like naughty schoolboys to his room and asked them why James no longer knew them.

'Well… you see.' Snape began. He explained the whole situation, Remus nodding by his shoulder the whole time.

'You could have just told me, Severus. Getting rid of people's memories is illegal without their permission. Well, too bad, it's done now,' Albus said, throwing a significant look, then winking at the two of them, 'Cup of tea before we head off for one last round of golf before dinner?'

* * *

**AN: One more chapter left to go! All rights to JK Rowling for anything that you recognise.**


	9. Friday 5th August: PM

Severus gathered his last few items, packing them into his trunk. They had twenty minutes or so before they were due to dock into Portsmouth. He was sad to be leaving. The cabin felt more homely than his house ever had. Then again, home is where the heart is and he had finally let himself become closer to anyone than he had ever done before.

As instructed at dinner, he left his trunk outside their cabin door with Dumbledore's, where the porters would come and collect them to carry off the ship. He then turned back and sat down with Dumbledore, who looked equally as sad to be leaving.

'Have you enjoyed the cruise Severus?'

'It's been good,' He didn't want to appear too enthusiastic then relented, 'But it's the journey that I must thank you for the most.'

'That's what I hoped to hear. It's been a pleasure getting to know you Severus.'

'And you Albus.' Snape nodded curtly, as the ships horn blared. With one last forlorn look at the cabin, Snape and Dumbledore both left, hurrying down the corridor, excited to be back on home soil. Remus joined them waiting on the deck, looking at the sight of Portsmouth. They also went to collect their wands before they headed down the gangway.

'We survived so well without them,' Remus winked.

Finally, they were off the ship, yet Snape didn't want to be. How much he had changed in just five days. However, as soon as he saw Remus kissing mystery man one last goodbye, he reconsidered his mood. Though, remembering Dumbledore's words, he made an attempt to be polite.

'Farewell, Remus,' He grumbled.

'Bye Severus,' Remus said giving Snape one last jolt of eye contact before apparating with a crack.

'I'll see you at Hogwarts, Headmaster,' Snape nodded at Albus.

'Indeed, Professor Snape.' Severus thought he could see a tear of sadness coming out of Dumbledore's eye as he waved and smiled at him like a proud father, before he too picked up his trunk and apparated.

Snape once more gathered his things and walked past the muggle workers, only this time he was happy to look forward.

He would never look back.

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**AN: Thank you for reading the whole thing. I hope that you enjoyed it! I was very sad to finish and part of me wished that I had put him on a two-week cruise, though I hope I conveyed his feelings about Lily and Remus enough through five days. As always rights go to JK Rowling.**


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